Fanfic100: Organization XIII
by Magic Kaito
Summary: One hundred themed stories about the Organization. - By Any Other Name: A new prospect has caught the eye of the Organization.  Unfortunately, his effort seems to be... lacking, to say the least.
1. Game Plan

AN: This is a collection of one-shot stories I will be writing for the Fanfic100 challenge at LiveJournal. All of these stories will be about at least one member of Organization XIII and have various genres, lengths, and ratings. Knowing me, on average they will be at least somewhat humorous and around a G or PG rating.

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#077- What?

**Game Plan**

Training new members was normally easy enough to work into the daily tasks of Organization XIII. However, having two recent recruits that both needed extra attention was beginning to stretch their resources. It had been decided that once their assignments were complete, the other members were to take turns showing them everything they would need to know to handle the day-to-day life in the Castle that Never Was.

Tonight it had fallen on Luxord to teach Roxas some of the important skills that would be necessary if he was going to survive in this place with the rest of them. Not wanting to back away from what might be an exciting challenge, Luxord had been taking this on with much enthusiasm. Roxas had been catching on, but his progress was too slow for his teacher's liking. In order to make the game more interesting he had managed to rope Saïx and Axel into assisting him with the training.

Now they found themselves in a circle, their brows furrowed in concentration. Roxas still seemed a bit lost on all of the details, but with the amount of focus required it was a bit difficult to give him any more assistance. It would be up to him to learn the rules of this game for himself now.

Luxord held his cards in front him, grinning like a madman. Across from him, however, Saïx was scowling. Clearly his most recent loss had greatly affected his strategy. Besides, Luxord had secured all four of his latest targets, giving him a clear advantage at the moment.

To his left, Roxas looked at him inquisitively. "So that's the goal?"

"Precisely," Luxord replied. "You take the cards you need from the enemy. In the end, whoever has the most is the winner."

"Um, all right," Roxas replied, staring at his hand thoughtfully for a few moments. Something like this would require strategy, right? He tried to consider all of his options like Luxord had mentioned to him before. Maybe the best move was…

He looked back up, seeming a bit more confident than before. "Axel," he began, speaking as imposingly as he could manage.

"Yeah?"

Roxas thought for one last moment, taking a deep breath before he continued. "Do you have any 3s?"

Axel stared at his cards blankly for a moment before snatching two and holding them up in his other hand. With a small burst of flame, they quickly vanished into a tiny pile of black ashes on the floor.

"Nope," he finally replied.

Saïx turned his scowl to his left. "Axel, how many times do I have to tell you?" he said coldly. "Burning the cards is cheating."

"What?" Axel replied with a grin. "You can't prove they were 3s, can you?"

"You've still destroyed two cards that were integral to the game. It will be impossible to complete it now!"

"Like we ever actually finish a game around here anyway…"

"Er," Roxas began, looking at the tabletop in confusion, "does this mean I'm supposed to "Go Fish" now?"

Luxord sighed. He was beginning to regret his selection of assistants. "Normally, yes. However, before we can continue the deck will need to be replaced. Again."


	2. Closed Door

#004- Insides

**Closed Door**

Rating: K

Disclaimer: Much like Xemnas, I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

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The Castle that Never Was was truly a grand structure. It loomed ominously over Dark City, towering above any other structure in the entire world. Had there been any sentient residents of the World that Never Was that didn't already reside in the castle, they would have found it very imposing.

The founding members never spoke much about its construction mostly because they believed it spoke for itself. It was full of winding passages, staircases, and rooms of every shape and size. There were rooms only accessible by Nobodies. There were rooms that few of the residents even knew existed. The turrets stretched high into the black sky toward the forming moon. To top all that off, the entire compound was floating. No one could deny it was impressive.

However, it had one fatal flaw in its design. One little thing that could turn the entirety of its grandeur into a nightmare for its residents. Something that, to the outsider, was not even noticeable.

With the vast amount of space and countless rooms in the castle, they had only made one bathroom.

It hadn't been much of an issue in the early days of the Organization. However, now that their size had more than doubled, certain problems were beginning to come into light. This was why the members found themselves waking up as early as they possibly could every day and hurrying out of their rooms. Each morning was a futile attempt to avoid the inevitable…

Xemnas stood next to the closed door, scowling at it as though he thought it could see him. In his hand he clutched a small plastic tote filled with several bottles. Directly behind him, Xaldin was slowly shifting his weight from side to side, not seeming much happier than their leader. Xigbar merely leaned against the wall behind him, his eye closed. Even further back was Saïx, and behind him Demyx could be seen talking at Zexion.

They had all been too late. The Line had formed.

At the front, Xemnas was reaching the peak of his aggravation. His grip on the tote was gradually becoming tighter as the moments passed. Finally, his patience snapped. "What is taking so long?!"

"At this point we can only wait, Lord Xemnas," Saïx replied.

"How long have we been waiting?" he continued, obviously ignoring his second in command. "I will not stand for this insolence!"

"We agreed a long time ago that using the restroom could not be construed as treason."

"Why don't you try knocking?" Xigbar added, opening his eye and grinning slightly.

"I am the ruler of this entire world! I shouldn't need to knock!" Xemnas exclaimed.

"Yeah, we really shouldn't try that, guys," Demyx said nervously as he turned to the rest of them, much to the relief of Zexion. "Remember what happened last time? I can't deal with that again!"

"We can't let this stand for much longer, though," Zexion replied, hoping he wouldn't regret it. "Some of us have work we're actually going to do today."

"About that, Lord Xemnas," Xaldin said quickly, stopping his slow rocking. "I know you're very busy and you've been standing here much longer than I have."

"And?" Xemnas replied, turning his head and glancing back over his shoulder.

"I have… much I need to accomplish today. I only intend to take a few minutes in the bathroom this morning. It would be far more efficient to the Organization if you allowed me to go ahead of you."

Xemnas remained silent for a moment. "I was here first, Xaldin."

"Yes, Lord Xemnas, but I would not…"

"I have been waiting longer than I should have as it stands."

"I'm aware of that. However, a mere minute more would not harm you." His voice was, surprisingly enough, beginning to take on a tone akin to desperation.

"You will wait for your own turn, Xaldin."

"But…!""

"Hah!"

They fell silent at the interruption, turning their attention to an approaching team member.

"This again?" Larxene asked dryly, shaking her head. "You boys and that bathroom, honestly." She continued walking down the hall, not even looking in their direction anymore. Demyx seemed to be attempting to stand directly behind Saïx now.

After a moment of silence, Zexion finally spoke. "She doesn't comprehend things like this at all."

Xemnas, however, had returned to his stare down with the door. "What could he possibly be doing in there?!"

"You know how he gets," Xigbar replied with a slight laugh. "I never thought that look just came to him naturally."

"We can't allow him to stay in there forever," Xaldin said with a scowl, shifting once again.

"I'm not gonna be the one that tries knocking," Demyx stated, once again sounding scared.

With a sigh, Saïx stepped out from his spot in The Line and began making his way toward the door.

"No cutting!" Xemnas snapped.

"I am not cutting, Lord Xemnas. I am merely going to deal with this situation."

The others frowned, grouping behind him as well as they could while still maintain their spots. Saïx seemed to take a moment to collect himself before knocking on the door. There was no response. After a few seconds, he pounded on it a bit more forcefully. Still, no answer. Saïx continued to beat on the door as he finally spoke. "Axel?"

"Yes?" his voice finally came from behind the door.

"You've been in there for twenty-five minutes!" Saïx exclaimed. "It's time to come out!"

"I'm not finished!" Axel replied with an almost sing-song tone to his voice.

"Axel, I am ordering you to come out of this bathroom!"

He was met with silence once again. Before Saïx could continue his verbal assault, however, Xemnas pushed him out of the way and pounded on the door himself. "Axel! I am going to count to three and if you have not opened this door then I am going to be the one who opens it!"

"I don't think you want to do that!" he finally answered, still sounding a bit playful.

"Do not underestimate me!" Xemnas bellowed, resting his free hand on the doorknob. "Come out now, Axel!"

"I told you, I'm not finished," Axel said, his tone suddenly becoming far more cold and threatening than it had been before.

"One…"

There was no sound from behind the door once again and nothing to indicate any movement.

"Two…"

Still no response, no footsteps, and no opening door. Axel was certainly being stubborn this morning.

Xemnas paused for an extra moment, clearly growing more and more agitated. "Two and a half…"

Nothing came out of the bathroom, not Axel, not his voice, and not another sound. Waiting yet another instant longer than his count had indicated, Xemnas finally inhaled sharply through his nose and flung the door open.

They were quickly hit in their faces by an almost unbelievably large cloud of steam that poured out of the bathroom at such a rate that it was impossible for any of them to see for several seconds. Once the air had cleared, they peered in to find that the restroom was completely empty. There wasn't even a trace that Axel had been in the hallway in which they were standing. Clearly they had been bested.

With a growl, Xemnas finally stormed in and slammed the door shut behind him. Saïx sighed and made his way back to his original spot in The Line, merely having to shoot a glare at Demyx to obtain it again. Zexion seemed to have turned to his Lexicon with a long wait evident, while Xigbar returned to leaning against the wall and tried to not look nearly as amused as he was. Xaldin appeared to be hopping in place now.

A few minutes later, they all snapped to attention as Xemnas' voice thundered out angrily from behind the door. "_He used all the hot water!_"

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AN: I swear the next one will be serious.


	3. By Any Other Name

#033- Too Much

**By Any Other Name**

Rating: K

Disclaimer: Much like Xemnas, I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

AN: Sorry for the really long pause in this. Life, y'know. I know I promised to do a serious fic, but with the huge gap I felt I needed to do another humorous one to get myself back in the spirit.

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Water softly crashed upon the shore of the Dark Margin. It was peaceful in a strange way, which could explain why a young man reclined on the rocks playing a sitar in contentment. Just then, a dark portal opened behind him and three hooded figures in black coats stepped out. The young man didn't seem to notice their arrival, or perhaps he just didn't care.

One of the figures walked forward, the others following closely behind. They stopped a few yards away from the person playing the sitar, but he still didn't seem to acknowledge their presence.

"This is the one?" the first figured asked, his voice sounding calm.

"Yep," one of the people standing behind him replied. "The guy's just been sitting here for a while making all that noise."

"We have reports that he definitely shows signs of being a candidate to join our numbers, however," the other added.

The front figure lowered his hood, revealing his long silver hair and gold colored eyes. He studied the young man for a few moments silently while he kept playing as though he were oblivious to their arrival. "Approach him," Xemnas said, and the other two continued walking ahead until they were just next to the rocks.

Xigbar was the next to reveal his face. "Done with your song yet, rock star?" he asked.

The musician finally stopped playing and looked at them with a small grin. "You guys aren't much of an audience," he replied.

"We didn't come here for a concert, kid," Xigbar said. "Tell them that story you told me before."

He frowned and shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno, it's kind of boring. One minute I was jamming out on my sitar, next thing I knew I was surround by a bunch of creatures and darkness and stuff. I guess I passed out or something cause the next thing I remember is waking up here."

"Is that all that happened?" the one that remained concealed under his hood asked.

"Pretty much. I can do some awesome stuff with my sitar now, though!" To demonstrate, he made it disappear and reappear, but apparently that was all he wanted to show off.

Xemnas scowled a bit. "You haven't noticed any other changes? Any... emptiness inside yourself?"

He had to think about this for a while apparently, scratching his head. "Maybe? Trying to think about everything that happened starts to make my brain hurt so I've just been practicing."

"...Do you really think this one fits all of our credentials?" the third member asked.

Xigbar chuckled a bit and shrugged. "He's got a normal-looking body and a memory. That's what we're supposed to be looking for."

"Perhaps we should reconsider our terms," the other replied. "I cannot see how a musician would aid us in our cause."

"Oh yeah!" the young man suddenly exclaimed. "This is kinda cool!" He played a few chords and the water near them suddenly rose as a horizontal pillar and moved quickly through the air, crashing into the people standing before him. "That would make my act awesome, right?"

Xigbar and his companion had managed to stand their ground, though they were now completely soaked and looked very displeased about this. Xemnas seemed to have avoided the spray entirely somehow, his expression becoming a small grin.

Peeling his wet hood off his head, Zexion tried to shake the water out of his hair before responding in annoyance. "I take back my previous comments."

"Sheesh, I didn't come here to take a bath," Xigbar mumbled.

Xemnas finally stepped forward, looking over the prospect again before speaking. "It seems you are fit to become a member of our organization."

"...Huh?"

"Should you accept the offer, we will fully explain your situation, your duties, and our goals," Zexion added, though at this point it seemed more like a practiced response than an actual interested offer.

"Woah, woah, wait a minute!" he exclaimed, looking slightly horrified. "Are you saying you want me to _work_ for you? I am totally not the guy you're looking for!"

"Suit yourself," Xigbar replied. "You can just sit here until either the darkness or the Heartless get a hold of you and destroy you."

He frowned, taking a few moments to answer. "Those are my only choices? Lame... I get to keep my sitar if I go with you guys, right?"

"Yes," Zexion said, though he didn't sound very pleased.

Though he didn't seem happy about it, he replied with a "Sure."

"And now, a new name," Xemnas said in the same smug tone almost as if no one else had been talking. "One that will suit the new you."

"What's wrong with my name?"

"Now that you are a Nobody and are joining our numbers, it is important to put your past life behind you," Zexion said. "The easiest method is to rearrange your name while including an 'X'."

"A what? And you mean I have to _make something up_?" he whined.

"What, it's hard?" Xigbar said with a laugh. "I know who not to go to when some thinking needs to be done."

"For example, my former self was called Ienzo. Now my name is Zexion," he said, his tone clearly showing that he only offered this information because he just wanted this to be over with. "What was your name?"

He frown with uncertainty before replying. "Demy."

"You're only using five letters. Your options are limited, so it isn't that hard."

Demy sighed and hung his head, remaining silent for a few moments. Suddenly, he snapped back to an upright position, grinning. "Okay, I'm Demyx then!"

There was a long pause as the other three frowned at him.

"What was that?" Xemnas asked coldly.

"You said I just needed my name and an 'X'."

"But that isn't..." Zexion began.

"Demyx totally works!" he interrupted, still smiling confidently.

"Tch, talk about the easy way out..." Xigbar said half to himself.

Xemnas scowled for a few moments before closing his eyes. "Fine. _Demyx_, you are the ninth member of our organization." He sounded rather displeased as he spoke his "new" name.

"...So then I won't have too much work to do, right?" Demyx asked.

Xemnas merely turned away and began walking back toward where the portal had first formed. Xigbar followed him, leaving a very displeased Zexion to deal with the new recruit.

"Xigbar."

"Yes, Superior?" he replied, putting a slightly sarcastic emphasis on the final word.

"From this point onward, I will naming any new members."

Xigbar shrugged as the portal opened in front of them again, though the expression on his face clearly showed that he was amused by this. "Suit yourself."


End file.
